Saturday, February 19, 2005

The day I decided to tell the world ........

Let me tell you a story of how I emerged into this world ... so much drama from a tiny drama queen ...
I think it happened when mommy just got back from a one week stint in Sabah and had to go off (AGAIN???) for a whole month in Perlis .. a tiny little sp**m got away from the rest and met this fat egg (who was also different from the rest .. Ob-Gyn told mommy that she could only produce teeny weeny lil eggies hence the eight year honeymoon with daddy ..) and decided to do its thing and .. voila ... I came about...UNKNOWINGLY to my dear parents ...

Mommy was travelling all around the country .. particularly to East Malaysia .. where she would jump, squeal, dance, run, pant (??), somemore dancing, running and squealing to some 100 odd kakak and abangs teaching them on how to enjoy the computer.She would stuff herself with a whole pineapple a day and here I was holding on to dear life .. not willing to tear myself away ..not now not ever. I really wanted to meet this person who was so s****d who did not know she was carrying a "human bean" inside her. What a d*ft woman!!

Then , for some reason, she decided to quit her job and join this man, who, later will be known as my daddy. Daddy had to go to China for some recording thing .. (no lah .. not singing ..) and just before he left , mommy helped daddy move office. Mommy is one strong woman. It was 3 am and daddy was so tired. He had a flight to catch in the morning so mommy, together with Uncle Zul carried the office tables (so b****y heavy they are!!) by themselves. Not joking coz I think I almost came out. U know what mom said ... "Adoi ... I think my peranakan jatuh!!" whilst holding on to her growing tummy. She thot she was joking not knowing she was so close to the truth. Mom was in pain and already jalan terkangkang .. but she ignored it thinking it was just a muscle pull .. me .. hanging on really strong .. No .. not now .. Not on the roadside ...

Tok paid for mommy to join a course in Basic Childhood Development. There, once again, mummy rolled on the floor .She and her bright ideas .. Mommy was exposed to how to raise a kid from the ages of 0-4yo .. complete with breastfeeding theories which proved to be so useful later.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was getting fed up with being neglected. Mommy was starting to rub this stinking oil on her tummy thinking I was a piece of long s**t, Tok constantly poked on mom's tummy saying that she was 'busung', Daddy kept on poking my brains, geez, even Dr KK did a scan on mom when I was 4 months and did not see me ..WAAAAAA

I decided to sit on mom's large intestine (or whatever it is that makes her constipated) and she had to go the doctor. She went to the GP ..and Dr S said .."Ooohh.. you have mass inside you .." (MASS INDEED!!!)and she referred mom back to her gynae (for change in bowel movement problem.HA HA HA). Now, the gynae is all puzzled coz he was a fertility doctor. He told her that she should have gone to an gastroentrologist but since she was already there he decided to check her. Internal checks showed nothing. The raba-raba perut test showed mom had "BONY MASS" inside her ...*RIHTLOL (Rolling In Her Tummy) ...

Dr : OK .. lemme scan u
(Dr scanned and mom saw this really huge thing and she thot it was confirmed that she had fibroid or some sort of growth)
Mom: What is (the he** is that -silently) that doc?
Dr : Hang on ..
(Dr continue scan and I saw things flailing around)
Mom : WHAT IS THAT DOC .....?
Dr : That , my dear, is your baby ..
Mom: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?
Dr : And by looking at it .. u seem to be abt 7 or 8 months pregnant .....
Mom: WHATTTTTTTTT????
Mom did not know how to react .. cry? laugh? talk? Talk about blur sotong .. this was really blur sotong at its ultimate ..
Mom: Are u sure? U're not joking???
Dr : Mam ...we do not joke about things like this ... (smile)
Mom: But I thot u said I had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and the chances of me getting pregnant without treatment is almost zilch ..!!!
Dr: Allah Maha Berkuasa .....

And the rest is history ............................. (ohhhh .. so many post preggie stories to tell ...)

p/s .. BTW, daddy was at the mamak having roti canai and teh tarik when all this happened .. heh heh ... (guess where he was when mom was in labour??? at 2-3 am????) ...

7 comments:

5xmom.com said...

Finally, I got to listen to the whole thing. I enjoy reading about this every time.

amira shasmeen said...

Heh ..heh .. I oso enjoy telling but the funny thing is .. the story is different everytime I tell it coz there is so much to tell ...

Anonymous said...

Again and again....your story about how you came to the world makes me cry. You not only know how to crawl, push the food away, puke on daddy etc but you just know how to make Auntie Ros weeps....

amira shasmeen said...

Alamak Auntie Ros .. lemme wipe your tears for you. So sorry for not responding to your comment .. mommy has been so bizeee lately and i haven't made life any easier for her either ... Hope u have a good preggie journey ...

Anonymous said...

you better not blame me for your late presence in this world.. when you are old enough, you will get your own baldi and gayung from me. what does that #@!* mean? ask your momma!

Anonymous said...

aduhai......
best gile bace blog kak liza ni...
ish ish ish....
n teringat lagi kitorg sume prsan perut kakliza makin errr buncit...
but we did not say a word...
n bile kak liza mcm susah nk bgn dr duk atas lantai,kitorg sume buat2 xtau je....as if we didnt notice anything weird bout u...
hahahaha n layan je when u tell us there was some sort of s**t trapped inside u...hahahahah
kami pon dok tolong urut dia....
tekan ha ha tekan.....dia lari kat situ...dia lari kat sini....
hehehheh klaka!!
but it was worth it!
muahh

amira shasmeen said...

I know ..syukur ... and I thot I was dying!!!! heh heh heh